18 Comments
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Will Boucher's avatar

Love the turn at the end, the last paragraph is pure gold. It's quite windy by me today, you got me thinking I'm apt to float away out there

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Jon T's avatar

rocks in pockets my friend

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William Pauley III's avatar

This is wonderful, especially that last line. Really captures a nostalgic feeling for me.

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Jon T's avatar

capturing feelings? Amazing. Thank you.

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Liz Zimmers's avatar

What a wonderful, magical tale! Cheeky, so fey and tapped in to the unseen. Her sibling not believing, of course, and yet a little belief creeps in maybe. With the love.

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Jon T's avatar

Thank you Liz! It was an idea that suddenly had a life of its own right away. Pleased you liked it.

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Hanna Delaney's avatar

Oof, that turned didn't it! Great work, Jon.

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Jon T's avatar

thank you Hana!

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Michael Edward's avatar

I really liked this one, Jon. It gripped me right from the beginning. The innocence of the sister is juxtaposed beautifully with the protectiveness of the brother.

Bravo :)

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Jon T's avatar

Thank you Michael. Appreciate you reading. I liked it too.

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Stephanie Sweeney's avatar

Lovely. And I agree with other commenters - the last line is so good.

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

Damn dude, this is great.

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Jon T's avatar

Had to cleanse my pallete after all that sinning last week

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Sean Thomas McDonnell's avatar

But now you'll need to sin again. The cycle must continue.

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Kathrine Elaine's avatar

Aw, beautifully done, Jon T! Thank you for writing this!🩶

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A.P. Murphy's avatar

A thing about lightness and heavyness and now I'm not sure which team I'm on any more - to rock your rocks or to float away in the breeze?

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Jon T's avatar

what's that thing? Float like a flutter-bye and rock like a B ?

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A.P. Murphy's avatar

I was firmly of the lighter-than-air persuasion but now your cute charming Cheeky has kinda sorta started making me think that maybe floating away like a feather isn't absolutely the best thing? Damn her adorable hide...

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