18 Comments

Just...like perma-tension. and superb musical wordplay. I want to know more but im not sure how much if this it would be possible to read or write. the soundz were excellently unnerving. SOLID WORK.

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Thank you Nick. Happy to tweak those aural sensations.

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Chilling.

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Too good. Get out of here with this. IT'S TOO GOOD!!!!

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I was going for dreadful but okay I'll take it

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Super-duper proseroonie compañero, I'm right taken with the thrum and the hum of it all told. Got lotsa fav'rite bits but maybe this 'un most of all:

"You envy the thralls that bore this dismal place. Their apathy, a salve. The daybreak, a mere glitch in their revenant consciousness. Their lives barely beating, they will shuffle around like moaning lost children."

This particularly has that whole... youknow *thing* going on.

Also like narration in 2nd person muchly, a strong choice to keep us kids guessing, muchacho.

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Ah thank you, that is one of my fave bits too. No surpriso.

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Very nice! Kudos. ;)

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First off, congrats on first place! I can see that it was well deserved as I was on the edge of my seat the entire time while I was reading it.

Alongside that, I felt the very strong emotions that were present throughout the story, whether it was panicked melodrama, crippling isolation, or doomed resignation, all were distinct as they shifted and swapped throughout the advancing march of time.

Hopefully that conflagration at the end wasn't too painful for me! Cheers!

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I appreciate this. Thank you. I was really trying to get readers to feel something. Make it unavoidable.

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Wow! I’m waaay behind in my reading, but I’m stoked I finally got to this. This was so cool! I love the world you’ve created and the rhythm of it. Well deserved win.

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thank you! gosh and thank you for restacking!

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A big congrats on 1st place!

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I came across without reading who the author was. Then I hit play and continued working thinking it was the ‘audio book’ version. Then, after a few minutes into multi-tasking, I suddenly stopped and realized that I was listening to a soundtrack--a soundtrack meant to accompany the story. I slowly slowed down and brought myself back into the story. When I got to the end, I discovered it was written by someone I know! Congrats and great work. This is a gift and a pleasure.

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Wow. Thank you Jason. 😈

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Oh Heckin’ yes. Congrats. Great story painting and the accompanying soundtrack is 🤌

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So much vivid haunting imagery. I was thoroughly engrossed. Congrats again!

(I loved the music accompanying the story too.)

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Thank you John. I really appreciate the comments. And happy you opted for extra dread with the soundtrack. Looking forward to reading yours tomorrow.

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