I love the details and the aesthetic. And the thought that participants might be in each other’s subconscious is an intriguing one! Though my guess is that the sense of another presence is Something Else.. looking forward to the next episode!
This was highly detailed, down to the dreamscape-trippy eye. Loved the action. Through it all, Ricki is so cool and suave, clearly a professional. I can’t wait to see where this goes and navigate this storyline with the next episode. Amazing!
Thank you. It was so much fun to imbed myself in this world and know that there are other dimensions happening in real time. I want to k ow where this goes too, though I think only Ricki knows right now.
I like the evocative style, esp. with all the senses. "The skin between your ear and jaw twitches, as you prowl past him, and you smell something malodorous, like wet cardboard and dead fish."
Wow, you've done well with second perspective. Intricate detail. I particularly love the one about the gun. This piece gave all Sci fi John wick feel to it. P. S. I read it on the pdf which felt much more pleasant to read.
Thank you Cole! Yeah second person is a tough way to go, but a good challenge. I did it for my story Rare Dawn and liked how it pulled the reader down into the narrative. I thought it could work well for an out of body concept like this.
I love the details and the aesthetic. And the thought that participants might be in each other’s subconscious is an intriguing one! Though my guess is that the sense of another presence is Something Else.. looking forward to the next episode!
Thank you. The aesthetic is so fun to soak in. Cant wait to go for another dip.
The adjectives you use are so precise and descriptive; I love it! And Ricki is such a fascinating character. I can’t wait to read more!
Thank you ! It was really fun to write with Ricki. Though, she kinda writes herself.
This was highly detailed, down to the dreamscape-trippy eye. Loved the action. Through it all, Ricki is so cool and suave, clearly a professional. I can’t wait to see where this goes and navigate this storyline with the next episode. Amazing!
Thank you. It was so much fun to imbed myself in this world and know that there are other dimensions happening in real time. I want to k ow where this goes too, though I think only Ricki knows right now.
I like the evocative style, esp. with all the senses. "The skin between your ear and jaw twitches, as you prowl past him, and you smell something malodorous, like wet cardboard and dead fish."
I don't want to smell that, thanks. 😅 Well done!
Thank you Alexander, I love that you noticed these sensory details. I don't want to smell it either but I think I must have somewhere along the way.
I feel you! But still, it's best when we write with SSTTS. (sight, sound,touch,taste and that dead fish smell ;)
i think it's on my fingers
Wow, you've done well with second perspective. Intricate detail. I particularly love the one about the gun. This piece gave all Sci fi John wick feel to it. P. S. I read it on the pdf which felt much more pleasant to read.
Thank you! Second person was a good challenge. Im hlad you read it on the pdf. Much better paragraph and line formatting. 🥸
I have historically had a tough time with second person but you really made it work here. I think it nicely suits the dream world and your character
Thank you Cole! Yeah second person is a tough way to go, but a good challenge. I did it for my story Rare Dawn and liked how it pulled the reader down into the narrative. I thought it could work well for an out of body concept like this.
Well done, Jon. Stylish and hot with visual wit. Can't wait for the next installment.
Wow thank you! Love this review. I'll take Stylish and hot any day.