Signature Jon T right here. So unique. Every paragraph is a surprise. I'm always in awe of the way you so fluidly play with words, almost creating a different language and using them more to suggest meaning and intent rather than spell it out. Feels very free-form, less contrived. Inspiring.
Fantastic! The ending, though, oh my gosh! Gruesome is the word and so perfect. Arvid’s whole transformation up to that point was a fever dream of uncomfortable popularity. Made my introversion pucker!
If you put 25 anonymous stories in front of me and one of them was yours, I think I'd still be able to pick it out of the mix. And that's talent. Your words really sing: folksy, vibrant, stirring, smart. Seriously good.
I thought I was transported into a TZ episode, it was so good. Excellent. Loved it. Listened to your audio while reading as per usual for extra effects. It moved me. Loved that envy theme. How it went out of control and ended in chaos. As per usual, you always deliver.
Jon! This was absolute perfection! It genuinely felt like a TZ episode. If you told me Serling himself had written it, I would've believed you. Well done! Loved the audio, too. 👏
So good it made my nipples itch! Your writing is very visual. Great piece, Jon. I’m looking forward to listening to the audio when I get home.
I suggest Aloe Vera with Vitamin E - don't want to get those babies chaffed!
It works!!! Thank you.
Signature Jon T right here. So unique. Every paragraph is a surprise. I'm always in awe of the way you so fluidly play with words, almost creating a different language and using them more to suggest meaning and intent rather than spell it out. Feels very free-form, less contrived. Inspiring.
Thank you Shane! It's my disdain for writing exposition. Gotta stay in the action, you know?
I might have nightmares now. Thanks?
Seriously though, your mastery of creating visuals so dense with emotion is inspiring! And the reading of this piece… wow! 🤯
Thankee! Don’t waste a word, that’s what mama always told me.
That was gnarly! Deliciously gruesome.
Such a great story - “The drop ceiling fluorescents strafe like lasers in his periphery as he tornados wildly.” - so well written.
ooh thank you for that Keith. I particularly like that line too :)
Fantastic! The ending, though, oh my gosh! Gruesome is the word and so perfect. Arvid’s whole transformation up to that point was a fever dream of uncomfortable popularity. Made my introversion pucker!
Ah yes. Funny, I never intended for any of it to be gruesome until Hurley kind of told me it had to be. A puckering to be sure.
And thank you Liz 😼
Great work, Jon! Your stories are always works of art; I listened while I read and it was a real treat. ❤️
Awesome, right down to the "Leaving on a jet plane" song.
Thank you!
Ooh! Good one!
If you put 25 anonymous stories in front of me and one of them was yours, I think I'd still be able to pick it out of the mix. And that's talent. Your words really sing: folksy, vibrant, stirring, smart. Seriously good.
Thank you Garen. I appreciate that a lot.
this is spot on, and that first paragraph is so perfect. birds gargling! i love it.
god damn...everything about this is remarkable from the concept to the prose,--I particularly loved "unfurling in spools of spiral pink meat rolls. "
Thank you Will. That makes me feel a little unfurling myself.
I thought I was transported into a TZ episode, it was so good. Excellent. Loved it. Listened to your audio while reading as per usual for extra effects. It moved me. Loved that envy theme. How it went out of control and ended in chaos. As per usual, you always deliver.
Thanks Edith. Movement is good - thank you for reading!
Brilliant! Just the picture-perfect squircle of absurd and grotesque.
Happy you thought it was in good shape. Thank you
Jon! This was absolute perfection! It genuinely felt like a TZ episode. If you told me Serling himself had written it, I would've believed you. Well done! Loved the audio, too. 👏
Thank you wow. I am glad it was affecting in that way
I love the screenplay elements, and was not—not expecting to see that at the end! Gruesome. I really enjoyed that.
Ah the element of surprise. Ah those unreliable narrators. Thank you for reading. I am happy you enjoyed it.