24 Comments
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Guy Craig's avatar

This is like a novel, first-in-class medicine derived from a natural compound, unexpected and on the edge of a cure.

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Jon T's avatar

Interesting. It is not intentional in a direct sense. However, if you read any of my other short fiction, you’ll find the same qualities. Rhythm, cadence, lyrical syntax. So I suppose I might have also been looking for a new way to reveal these characteristics.

The sister story to this is here https://jontoews.substack.com/p/abduction-parry-and-bisect?r=1asdvc

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Jon T's avatar

Thank you. It’s interesting to hear the different reactions. The effect is distinctly something else.

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Jon T's avatar

I like your thoughts on this. It is definitely what I was after. I wanted a way to force a slower, closer reading experience. I think when you let people jump around and scan and race to the finish, they lose the power of what words can do. I am very happy you had a unique encounter with the format and the story.

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Guy Craig's avatar

You used some poetry techniques that I found to be effective. A few lines felt like a prose poem, with approximate meter.

Do you believe that to be integral to the experience/format in general, or mostly for this story?

Thanks!

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Guy Craig's avatar

The story is scary for sure, but I suppose I am caught up in the delivery/format. There is a richness and emotional resonance that feels quite different than anything else I am reading/experiencing on Substack, perhaps besides Doom Fiction.

I sometimes feel like we lose something when we read through a digital format instead of on paper (for me it is draining), yet you added more aspects of the digital experience, and it feels more analog, in a way, or at least for me more like sitting outside with a book on a warm, blue sky, spring day.

It is intriguing and satisfying. I’ve seen this format once or twice before on YouTube, and I was struck by it then, but you know how life goes, and I got distracted after watching it, and I lost the thread (if you will).

Thanks for sharing.

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William Pauley III's avatar

Hey! Thanks for the shout-out, @Guy Craig! 🤘

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Guy Craig's avatar

It’s true. You keep this place joyful (with horror and interesting spec) which is great for the community. No easy task.

Cheers!

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William Pauley III's avatar

Man, that is so kind of you to say. Thank you! 🙏

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Honeygloom's avatar

Surprisingly anxiety inducing, in a good, creepy kinda way. The chill music was really what got me I think. But also… I found myself wondering, “did I just get tricked into experiencing a story about a treasured jizz sock?” I still loved it either way, maybe more tbh…

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Jon T's avatar

You are welcome Mothergloom

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Nick Winney's avatar

the insistent sounds are unsettling but hypnotic. the words are menacing...but i think some of the menace is because i know it's you. you're really pushing at the edges of what the platform can do. bringing the senses together to play into the whole experience. I felt i could almost see things moving in the background, like i would see faces in that tree line walking toward me from the smoke.

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Jon T's avatar

Thank you Nick. I am super pleased you had an interesting experience. Looking forward to doing something like this again.

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Nick Winney's avatar

i wouldnt know where to start…but who knows where Jon T will end up…😎

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Emil Ottoman's avatar

Fuck, I wish I had this level of acumen. This. I need this. But now it's been done. I have to do something else. And I would need a whole new skillset to do something like this. But damn man. I loved this. Experimentalism is one thing I am always down for.

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Jon T's avatar

Thank you Emil. It was a fun project. Composing and writing and coding at the same time was in itself a new creative feeling slash process slash challenge.

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Jessica Maison's avatar

Very cool. I love that this technique forces me to experience your words how you want me to experience them, opposed to me choosing the pace. I felt trapped but in a good way.

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Jon T's avatar

Thank you Jessica. For many of us, our reading brains are being conditioned in a harmful way. Racing to the next paragraph, the next story, the next grunt of content. I am trying to find a new way by using digital tools in a manipulative but productive experience.

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Jessica Maison's avatar

I really felt that conditioning which is so wild.

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Pablo Báez's avatar

Did it in the living room (open space, lot of natural light). I gave it another go in the dining room (no light) and it’s interesting how the environment plays into the senses.

Recommend putting some headphones on, it’s disorienting in the best way. Immersive.

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Jon T's avatar

oh cool! hadn’t thought about it like that yet. hrmmmmmmmmm super interesting how that might work. Thank you Pablo! And yes headphones are best here. Stereo stereo!

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William Pauley III's avatar

I love this so much. Mind-blowing and inspiring, as always.

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ARC's avatar

This is super dynamic, original, and fascinating. This is a stand out piece of art.

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Rosie B's avatar

Really love this.

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